To The Doubtful Dreamers

We all have dreams. We decide their beginning; we decide their ending – better or worse. But why is it that whatever happens in between is left on situations, other people or the world to decide. Why can we not stop questioning our confidence to materialize our ideas or pursue our passion and start questioning what we can do or change to be closer to achieving our dreams?

We get so busy in our lives- struggling, meeting people’s expectations, drinking gallons of coffee on weekdays and pints of beer on weekends that we fail to realize that having a mind that can incubate an idea is something we need to pay attention to. Our mind has something that makes our body language positive, our voice sound confident and our visions more clear.

You are going to fail but not expire, burn, or melt or die. You may have little or no money on some days but keep showing up. You will fail, learn, apologize, improvise, be up at 2 am in the night, not come home for 3 and half days, try to squeeze things into your calendar but you will not die. Nothing will kill you except the death of your dreams. Chase your dreams until you get so engrossed that one day while going out you have two different shoes in your feet , your t-shirt has a hole near the corner or the hair in your armpit is about to develop into an ecosystem in itself that you don’t care and it all seems superficial. Be that kind of crazy about it.
There is a war raging inside you, and its demons won't be silenced until you tackle the fact that you are addicted to converting draft to manuscript, design into development and practice to performance. To run away from this, war many a times we drown ourselves in addictions or escapism but dreams don't have a half-life, they always stay young and make our eyes illuminate when we talk about them. Do not give a placebo to your dreams. Don't ask them to shut up and get lost because you are happy and ‘feel’ stable with your beautiful house, a job that helps you pay EMI, and expensive shoes that you could afford last week. This lifestyle might be transient but your ideas are not.

Strike a balance. Take family in confidence and show them how your eyes shine a little brighter when you talk about your dream. Have a plan B for bad weather days. Whenever you have moments of clarity, write them down, record them and listen when you feel doubtful. Well, there are a lot of bullet points out there to help you manage better but one golden rule that I like to stick to is- break down the elephant. Break down things into parts which are comprehensible in one glance. Break down the tasks, the routine, the plan, and the finances and anything that bothers you. No more dealing with the elephants. It is easier dealing with cats and dogs (smaller tasks). Oh, analogy got a little bit too far here.. No apologies but, I am just following my dream where I see myself writing what I like.

You might have to take a little rain check from the normal routine, going to pubs, socializing, sleeping at the right time but would it not pump your heart with happy blood and your brain with peace when you would see your creation getting transformed from intangible thoughts to something tangible.

And last of all; don’t try to climb to people's expectations of you. Don't be confined in the idea of 'nice' that this society has fed us-a ‘nice’ (to be read as big fat) wedding, a ‘nice’ car, a ‘nice’ patio. Nice almost sounds like an assault on your dreams when you alter your plans so that you can acquire these things instead of nurturing your ideas.

Still not convinced? Well, then your ideas and dreams were just a momentary high in the timeline of your whole life and now your hangover is over and you are ready to go to office tomorrow. Yeah, go back to diplomatic mails. Shoo!

I have philosophy I like to call ‘Fishing in the sixties’ which is something I recall whenever in doubt. I will tell you sometime later about it.

Backwash

When adulthood hits you hard and you realize there are things even Coldplay songs can't fix. Only a backwash would help...
( This poem involves a bundle of imagery, so read it slowly , delighting in every action described)

I tore some pages of the book from which you read me your favorite fable

and rolled them to smoke the pot of memories left by you near the table.

I snuffed out the candle that made you look subtle,

and took a high in the dark at the whiff of afterthoughts left by you at the scuttle.

I walked to the cusp of yearning abandoned by you at my window sill

and watched your universe skittering against mine drop by drop.

I collected your impressions, tantrums and every noxious speech;

Kept them into sealed jars and slapped a label on each.

Just so that you could see which ones were impolite, wild, raw and rotten.

Also there are unread messages which you might have forgotten.

I didn't just lit the fireplace,

I set it ablaze and incinerated all your thoughts there.

I stabbed the pillows lying on the corner couch and let your musk escape anywhere.

I disgusted at your picture, like we do at the food that is bland.

Yes, now I ignore your messages

like the news of active volcano in a distant land.

Backwash. (verb)..reversing the flow

The Innocence Keeper

[PART-1]

Dear Adult,

Hi, how are you? I hope you are as curious, contented and hopeful as I am. Did you forget me??

Well, since I don't have ego issues I won't mind re introducing myself. I am your inner ageless child. I am the child lurking in the nth corner of your multi cornered heart, holding onto the dead nerve endings and sipping on your intoxicated blood. Intriguing question- why your heart has so many corners now? Earlier there were just 3- one for mom, one for dad and one for the dog. Remember how you kept splitting the last corner between our snugly dog and the stupid mauve colored polka dot dress. But now, you have so many that you will probably need a full moon cycle to visit them all and come back to me. You have one for each of the gadgets you dearly keep, one for your favorite spot on the couch with the best angle to watch TV, one for each of the 'm' ex partners you have had since grade 10 (where m>0 and m<5... yes I have excluded the moron who didn't return the Coldplay poster after breakup). Oh, i remember one corner for the batman fridge magnet also! Did mom eat a crazy rabbit when we were born?!

Let us decide on a few things. We share the same opinion on Mondays- spreading horror since the year you turned 3 years old- *sigh* .Tuesdays you can behave a lot more like an adult and a little less like me. Let us settle for 80-20 percent. On Tuesdays, can you just dance around with a song in your head while making dinner?

I deserve a box of chocolates every Wednesday. Mid-week crisis needs to be handled with less caffeine and more coco. Thursday is going to be a sports filled day. Get your football shoes on, and bring home the smelly sweat and muddy t-shirt. Don't forget to bring dirty shoes inside. I kind of miss the time when mum knew that it is me who got dirty shoe spots in the house, but still she would shout 'who did this, I will go mad cleaning the house!' (To be read with a puckered brow , taut voice and hands on your waist ). Friday, and the weekend is a huge responsibility, let me think.

To be continued...