Each morning you force yourself to open both eyes. Then do
nothing but stare at the blank ceiling that is exactly opposite to your mind
which is full of clutter even at the first moment of the morning. Now you know
that rituals of trying, crying, and then waiting for it to pass will again be
repeated, with no deadline of how long this is going to go. You don't get down
from the bed and still feel like you are falling through the levels of despair,
agony, melancholy and helplessness. You unwillingly keep one foot down the bed,
then the next foot and thrust yourself up with the a sigh and a phew. You
notice you are staggering. Every inhale and every exhale through your body
seems like a project completed. Every breath is cold and rough. Even the first
few moments of the day seem like eternity and bloody day… how will you survive
this.
But then you involuntarily check your mails, pick up the
newspaper, pat your dog and explain how to make north Indian style lady finger
to your cook in great detail for the hundredth time. Countless number of tasks
for the day makes you realize that you have to go about this business of living
no matter what, no matter whom. You have to enjoy the explosion. No one is waiting
for you to get up and put on that eyes-open-when-you-tap-feet song for you. You
have to be your ultimate cheerleader. No one I coming to bail you out from here
so stop waiting for the pumpkin cart and glass heels.
You search for your tiara, take out the dress that
compliments your personality, get a pair of good shoes and crush your
resentment. Tell yourself that you may not be made of stardust but there is
every possibility that you can reach for the stars. Don't fall through the
rabbit hole. There is just a door there, pull it and get out.
Walk with your shades on and head held high. Walk slow, or
fast, in the lawn or on the pavement, inside or outside; but just don’t walk
backwards.
