Thursday, 8 September 2016

When The Empress Changes Out Of Her Dusty Riding Clothes

Each morning you force yourself to open both eyes. Then do nothing but stare at the blank ceiling that is exactly opposite to your mind which is full of clutter even at the first moment of the morning. Now you know that rituals of trying, crying, and then waiting for it to pass will again be repeated, with no deadline of how long this is going to go. You don't get down from the bed and still feel like you are falling through the levels of despair, agony, melancholy and helplessness. You unwillingly keep one foot down the bed, then the next foot and thrust yourself up with the a sigh and a phew. You notice you are staggering. Every inhale and every exhale through your body seems like a project completed. Every breath is cold and rough. Even the first few moments of the day seem like eternity and bloody day… how will you survive this.
But then you involuntarily check your mails, pick up the newspaper, pat your dog and explain how to make north Indian style lady finger to your cook in great detail for the hundredth time. Countless number of tasks for the day makes you realize that you have to go about this business of living no matter what, no matter whom. You have to enjoy the explosion. No one is waiting for you to get up and put on that eyes-open-when-you-tap-feet song for you. You have to be your ultimate cheerleader. No one I coming to bail you out from here so stop waiting for the pumpkin cart and glass heels.
You search for your tiara, take out the dress that compliments your personality, get a pair of good shoes and crush your resentment. Tell yourself that you may not be made of stardust but there is every possibility that you can reach for the stars. Don't fall through the rabbit hole. There is just a door there, pull it and get out.

Walk with your shades on and head held high. Walk slow, or fast, in the lawn or on the pavement, inside or outside; but just don’t walk backwards.



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